ME AND MY FLAWS

Me and My Flaws

“My Present”………

Lately, I realized how often I talk about my share of achievements not really knowing that it already irritates a number of people around me. This significant realization left me pondering on a lot of things—-which prompted me to write this entry. I do not know why I have been acting this way. It’s as if I just want to be on top—praised, acknowledged, and recognized. But, what do I get out of these? Will I be really worthy of praises if I have already offended others?
Trying to grasp the reasons behind my actions, I tried to reflect in the most honest sense ever possible. I think I was used to being the center of attention way back in high school. And now, I am forgetting that this is not the same world I used to live in. I am no longer The One but rather I am just like anyone in this world trying to be heard— trying to be different. But, now I am convinced that I was never really The One. It was just an idea: it was just an illusion I unconsciously created when I was blinded by the applauses I have had heard.
I should start making companionships while keeping the old real ones. I should learn how to adjust. There is nothing to wait for if I would plan to wait for the things around me to change just to please me. I may be generous but I am still selfish. I may be polite and respectful but I am no longer the humble man they say I was in high school. I may be wise but often times I am actually stupid. I ask for forgiveness and yet I do not let go of grudges I hold in my heart. I may look happy but I am empty for real. I emptied my own life by loving myself too much. With this, I became The One—the one who was born and never really lived.
Before dreaming of having a good life, I should learn to dream for a “life”. I do not know if I should be sorry for being the way I am now but God knows how much I want to be given the chance to fix things I have long left broken. I should remember that more than what I am now, I am a human—a human just like any other being I meet everyday. So, all these realizations made me appreciate and value more the people I have now. They are the ones who came and never left. I can be with them at my best and I know that they will be there even at my worst.
The people I have lost—I should thank them. It is thru them that I learned the lessons brought by endings and goodbyes. I wish them the best and I hope that by the time our paths will cross again in the future, I will be a better man worthy to be valued and kept. For now, I should start living. It has been eighteen years of existence; I want my next years to be years of living and giving. For a boy becomes a man when he learns to face responsibilities amidst downfalls and a prince becomes the king once he learns to bow before the people and accept his flaws.