Poll

WHY AK?

Why I am in ASAP-Katipunan

It was just last year when I experienced to vote for the first time in the country’s premier state university. Having a little knowledge on the campus politics then, I was after for leaders who will best serve the student body—leaders who will be approachable, responsible (both as leaders and as students), and determined to serve. I voted for Bigkis UP Manila (6 of the 9 posts in the University Student Council). I was thinking that they would best represent the cause of the student body. On the other hand, I chose to vote only three USC candidates from the ASAP-Katipunan. To be honest, I had biases against the activists when I was in first year. I find them too confined in their own world of opposing and opposing the administration.

However, things began to change last semester particularly in the month of August. In one of my major subjects (Political Science 14), the whole class was sent to the most depressed communities in Bulacan for what we call a Basic Masses Integration Program (BMI) sponsored by the ASAP-Katipunan. Through such, we were able to live with the peasants for one night and two mornings having the goal of understanding their present condition and sentiments as well.

There I saw, smelled, tasted, and felt poverty—-it was all over the setting. Children would need to go through two mountains to get to the nearest school everyday. Peasants would choose to work even though they are oppressed in the inequalities in the world of agrarian (brought by feudalism) because they want Filipinos to have enough food (rice in particular). There I saw life on a very different side. As new buildings are constructed in the most urbanized areas in our country, more and more Filipinos get hungry in the other parts.

There I saw the ASAP-Katipunan members in a way like I have never seen them before. The people (peasants and their families) there know them well and would even choose to offer us the best food they have not minding their own selves. For a minute or two, I was left pondering. In my first year in UP, I had my share of biases against these people—the same people who have been one with the masses; the same people who have long been fighting for the good of all—for equity.

Last year I was allergic to their chants but now I know that every chant is for a child who opts to go through mountains just to get education. Last year I was allergic to their protests but now I know that it is for a peasant who opts to still plow the lands even though they do not receive what is due to them. Last year I was allergic to their statements but now I know that it is for a Filipino struggling to live despite the challenge of poverty.

I am an AK member because I now simply share their principles—what they are fighting for—what we all should be fighting for. Before thinking of how we students can get the most out of everything, there is a need for us to go back to the very point of being Iskolars ng Bayan. We are all struggling for change. We want change. But we must be careful in choosing the kind of change we wish to transpire. I am not saying that the principles of Bigkis or the mechanisms which they prefer are wrong. Nobody can impose which one is right. But my principles are now with AK—guided by the true condition of our society and enlightened by our people. It was not AK which was confined in their world of opposing and opposing the administration. It was me who was confined in the world of urbanization forgetting our brothers and sisters on the other side.

Do you now see?

ASAP-Katipunan.
TUNAY. PALABAN. MAKABAYAN.

2009

It’s an ordinary evening for me again— alone in the room while listening to music. Ordinary and yet I have lots of things in mind. A few hours from now, I will be going back home after seven months. It just gives me the feeling that I have changed a lot since then— lots of downfalls can be recalled. Still, every day becomes more and more worth to live for. Well, there are plenty of lessons I learned from what transpired this year. Year 2009 may have been the worst for me to certain extents but more than that, I shall remember it as the venue where I have grown into the man I am now.

On Fraternity

At first, I do not really buy the idea of having the need to be part of a fraternity. I was one of those who view fraternities equated with brutish acts and violence. But, the Sigma Kappa Pi changed the way I see fraternities. It allows you to somehow sacrifice your individual interest for the interests of all—Democratic Centralism, it is. It takes time to understand such but once you are truly guided by the truth and enlightened by the masses, all the sacrifices will all be worth it—all the odds will be justified in a manner which could not be expressed through words. You just feel and know it.

On Friends

Probably the most complicated aspect of my life this year is in the field of friendship. I gained new ones while somehow losing other friends because of the circumstances and part of which are also my mistakes. I just hope that next year will be a better one in terms of my relationship with my friends and people around me in general. Thanks to Tuks for all the lessons, Ekit and Edit for the new wave of experiences, Polis for the incomparable memories, 3rd Year PolSci Buddies Keith and Florian for the unforgettable sleepovers, Buddies Mac and Josh for the rocking songs, AMS for the moral teachings and fun bondings, CYA for the joyful moments together, Maroons for all the laughs we’ve shared, all the people who have touched my life individually (you know who you are), and to Da Cores for the patience, trust, and acceptance.

On Studies

I always cram lately and I made absences already just to make up for my responsibilities in varying commitments. I just hope and pray that God will give me extra strength to cope better. I must also bring back my focus because in the first place, my parents sent me here to study well.

On Love

I had Jamie and I learned a lot from our relationship. It was not just about love nor sweet moments together but it was more about two people from different worlds who both tried to adjust to be complemented with the other and just let each other feel the warmth of love and passion.

On Faith

It was through my roller coaster ride that I got the chance to talk to God more often. But more importantly, my faith grew in a way that I get to appreciate good things more than the way I appreciate them before. Indeed, it was through darkness that I really realized the beauty of light. God is great.

“There are things in my life which even the purest of purest reasons would never dare to understand, but even though I struggled—I managed to live”…

Dinig Sana Kita

On “Dinig Sana Kita”

Our human senses, though often unappreciated, do us huge favors which contribute to our humanity. In the conventional perspective of humans given our subjective biases, we feel normal and complete if all our senses function well. As a result, a distinct kind of discrimination over those who do not enjoy all their human senses exists in our society. Most look at them as lesser humans. But, what is it really that makes us humans? Does being disabled really limit our ability to be happy and live normally in this material world?

Dinig Sana Kita is a movie which has a “deaf theme” offering a story which challenges the conventional views regarding deaf people who are deprived of hearing both noises and melodies. What is more interesting is that it affirms the notion that the deaf can be happier than most people. It appears that the inability of most people to be simply contented with what they have causes their lack of appreciation for being complete physically. Most fail to enjoy life because they are too busy looking at what is not there.

The politics within the family was also depicted in the story. As what most people say, most of the rich people in terms of economic resources are those who do not have a stable family life. Hilarious as it may appear but the societal framework of today seems to affect the way we live our lives and the way we see ourselves as part of the world as a whole. Because of our thirst to gain more economically, we unconsciously lose the things which are actually the more important ones.

While starting to live by the rules of the society imposed by the period of modernization and globalization, we also start forgetting the kind of persons we were or to certain extents, the kind of persons we should have been. The fathers forget to be fathers while being too busy on their roles as breadwinners. The mothers forget to be mothers while being too busy with their friends and social activities. The sons and daughters forget to be children while being too pre-occupied of their complaints which lead to rebellion.

It is but amazing to realize that the beauty of life is not restricted within the walls of perfection but rather appreciation. One can be happy only when he or she chooses to be happy regardless of not having everything. Perhaps, happiness has never been something too difficult to attain but a choice to be simply chosen.

Rio’s 18th: A Night

Rio’s 18th: A Night to Remember

My confirmation of attendance prior to the invitation to Rio’s party came in as a short notice. Up to the day of her birthday, I was not sure if I should come to the overnight party in an exclusive resort in Laguna especially it was only Vanessa who confirmed from my block mates. In a way, I was thinking that if Rio’s friends (Marvin, Faith, Brin, and Tal) would be there, maybe Vanessa and I would be out of place as they might be doing a lot of catching up together. But, as evident as it appears I chose to attend the party. Vanessa and I met at the Metropoint in Pasay City and we were later fetched by Rio, who was then with Marvin and Faith already. We then rode a jeep to go to Rio’s relatives’ house from which we had early exchanges for about an hour of basic information and stuffs new friends usually ought to know.

When the family driver arrived, we were then driven to Calamba, Laguna which is the venue proper of the party. Along the trip which lasted for about two hours, Vanessa and I got the chance to know Marvin and Faith better. The trip was sort of a “high-school-days-experiences-sharing” which was of course a perfect way to start the great friendships yet to be formed.

When we finally arrived at the resort, more moments of conversation with Marvin and Faith transpired. And later that night, Brin and Tal arrived to join the party. Lots of pictures were taken—-and for the FIRST TIME—– I was able to carry and touch a dog! Thanks to Marvin for that. Then we had dinner which went well because what I expected (the out of place thing) did not happen. They never failed to converse with Vanessa and I. After the dinner, WE TOOK THE POOL which I think is the most amazing thing we did that night. We played “ICE-ICE-WATER”, “7-UP”, “CLICK-CLICK”, “PING PONG PANG” etc. I can still hear how our voices roar the night of incomparable happiness. We then sang with the videoke and at around 1 a.m, Marvin and I went upstairs to go to bed as we need to leave by 4 in the morning. Well, I was not able to sleep. We just shared a lot of things which I think is one of the stuffs I appreciate in friendships.

By 3:30 am, we were already preparing ourselves to leave. Vanessa also needed to go home early that’s why she decided to go with us. The trip back to Manila was relatively a lot shorter. Rio’s party was not just a night of celebration but was also a night of building friendships and making old friendships stronger. It is a night I will remember.

Faith- I am proud to have known her. She’s very supportive and she speaks direct to the point. She is sweet, cool, and bubbly.

Brin and Tal- they are both smart and fun to be with individuals.

Marvin- I applaud him for being a loving son. I was very happy upon hearing how he talks to his mom over the phone.

Vanessa- After knowing her better, I can say that she really is a loyal friend. (Nessa, sorry for not acting that good in the game CLICK CLICK CLICK) hehe
Rio- is now a lady who is ready to face the world of challenges but with her friends on her side? I think it would be easier for her to overcome such.

AYEH

AYEH

Her name was AYEH and she was my friend. I met her way back in third year high school. She was the new girl in school who came from Saudi Arabia and found it hard to make new friends as she could only speak in plain English. We started a little bit roughly because my best friend back then seemed to be giving a lot of attention to her. But, everything somehow began to change when we were classmates in fourth year. I got the chance to know her better and we’ve been good friends. I was her confidant in the most private secrets of secrets she had. She was sweet and kind but there was still a part of her which I find mysterious. Months passed and the friendship got deeper and deeper up to a point where she told me about her feelings but I told her that I really love her as my sister. She accepted it wholeheartedly and I was thankful that nothing has changed in the way we treated each other.

In college, I would remember my phone ringing at 2 or 3 a.m. It was Ayeh—seeking for advices— longing for someone who would listen to her. She had problems with her relationship with her boyfriend and I was there to listen. Second semester came and our communication was finally cut unintentionally but maybe it happened prior to the degree of difficulty I faced in my adjustments in college. From then on, I have never heard anything from her again. I just assumed that she would be just fine.

Last Christmas break when I went to Jolo for a vacation, I was informed that Ayeh passed away because of a heinous crime committed against her. For a certain number of days, I did not feel anything thinking that everyone would come to an end. But then one morning when I woke up, it’s as if she was beside me and it was as if I can hear her soft sweet voice. It refreshed all the great memories we shared in the short span of time we have been friends. I was reminded once again how short life is and how important it is for us to do the things we want now for we still have the time. It reminded me how important it is to tell the people you care about that you love them in every way you know. It reminded me how important it is to ask for forgiveness immediately as we do not know if we still have tomorrow to ask for it. It reminded me how important it is to pray to God for by the time we face our final destination, it is our faith in him that would be judged. I will be forever thankful to her. Yes she was sweet and kind. Her name was Ayeh and she was my friend.

2010

WHOLE NEW 2010

It has been weeks now since I last made an entry and I must say that the past weeks have been doing great for me. Last Christmas break, I got the chance to visit my family and high school peers at home. Well, I did a lot of basketball last vacation with my little brothers and sometimes even with my elder sister. The experiences we’ve shared were really refreshing. Besides, it has been seven months before they saw me again then. My mom is still very sweet and loving. She would plan family activities for me and the entire family to bond and enjoy. Everything was worth the sacrifice of studying far from them. I was also able to meet my high school friends in two batch reunions. Too bad I cannot upload the pictures I have since I left the files in Jolo.

Now, I am in Manila again but I am completely energized and inspired to do my responsibilities. It seems like everything is new. My college friends must also be given credit for making me feel this happy. They are the ones who boost my confidence whenever I feel like failing and they are the same persons who constructively criticize me whenever I am doing silly things again. It’s just extremely amazing. I hope that 2010 would be a whole new year of surprises and good memories.

ME AND MY FLAWS

Me and My Flaws

“My Present”………

Lately, I realized how often I talk about my share of achievements not really knowing that it already irritates a number of people around me. This significant realization left me pondering on a lot of things—-which prompted me to write this entry. I do not know why I have been acting this way. It’s as if I just want to be on top—praised, acknowledged, and recognized. But, what do I get out of these? Will I be really worthy of praises if I have already offended others?
Trying to grasp the reasons behind my actions, I tried to reflect in the most honest sense ever possible. I think I was used to being the center of attention way back in high school. And now, I am forgetting that this is not the same world I used to live in. I am no longer The One but rather I am just like anyone in this world trying to be heard— trying to be different. But, now I am convinced that I was never really The One. It was just an idea: it was just an illusion I unconsciously created when I was blinded by the applauses I have had heard.
I should start making companionships while keeping the old real ones. I should learn how to adjust. There is nothing to wait for if I would plan to wait for the things around me to change just to please me. I may be generous but I am still selfish. I may be polite and respectful but I am no longer the humble man they say I was in high school. I may be wise but often times I am actually stupid. I ask for forgiveness and yet I do not let go of grudges I hold in my heart. I may look happy but I am empty for real. I emptied my own life by loving myself too much. With this, I became The One—the one who was born and never really lived.
Before dreaming of having a good life, I should learn to dream for a “life”. I do not know if I should be sorry for being the way I am now but God knows how much I want to be given the chance to fix things I have long left broken. I should remember that more than what I am now, I am a human—a human just like any other being I meet everyday. So, all these realizations made me appreciate and value more the people I have now. They are the ones who came and never left. I can be with them at my best and I know that they will be there even at my worst.
The people I have lost—I should thank them. It is thru them that I learned the lessons brought by endings and goodbyes. I wish them the best and I hope that by the time our paths will cross again in the future, I will be a better man worthy to be valued and kept. For now, I should start living. It has been eighteen years of existence; I want my next years to be years of living and giving. For a boy becomes a man when he learns to face responsibilities amidst downfalls and a prince becomes the king once he learns to bow before the people and accept his flaws.

ENDINGS

Endings

“A tribute to the past”…

As I am sitting on my grandmother’s bed here in Cavite (my third home province), a question suddenly popped into my mind. Why is there a need for things to end? It appears to be simple and yet, more and more people are in dire need to seek for themselves why stories end when they feel like everything just started to be right. What complicates things more is the fact that endings usually come as a surprise—a surprise which will leave a scar somewhere in our anatomical composition. And no matter how hard we try to ignore or even deny the shadow which gives us the glimpse of what had transpired, we still find ourselves looking for the pieces we have lost— the moment that very bitter ending came. And there goes our pride—we ought to act as if it did not mean to us. But what our own mirrors project is a totally different us. This fact, we could not accept. Perhaps, we can never accept that we are changed by the circumstances which have betrayed us. We want to preserve our self-worth so we begin to be critical. At some points, we attempt to be very rational, thinking that it could help lessen the burden of the want-to-be-forgotten-yesterdays. But, little do we realize that it is the anger, it is the fear, and it is the denial caused by our closet’s horrors that challenged us to fit in after surviving (if I may say) from instances we wish not to have happened. But the question remains to be unanswered. One can never give even the best approximated answer why things end. If we should really be happy of endings the way we face new beginnings—new chapters we are bound to explore. Maybe it is not just possible for songs not to end. But it is important to note that though a song’s melody and rhythm end every time it is played, a song can still live. It may live as something which you long to hear everyday of your life, or it may live as something you want to be forgotten—something you just want to die and be buried in the deepest of memories a person can have. It all depends on how we want it to be remembered. Let endings be the new milestones of starting to spread your wings again no matter how dark the horizons may be. This entry ends here but the memories of a person which inspired me to write this will always have a place within the core of my humanity.

BEST OF FRIENDS

When I entered U.P., I really wanted to have my own set of close friends.
Perhaps, I needed to grow as a social being with a distinct kind of
independence. Upon knowing that I will be living an independent life here in
Manila, I knew that I had to make necessary adjustments to the new world
and life I was about to delve into. During the first week of class way
back in first year, my closest friend among my blockmates was Paulo Fontilla.
However, he got ill the next few weeks which was the reason why I became
close to Cleve Arguelles. We became the closest pals for about three days
(laughs). He just told me that we were too different from each other and
that we do not match to be the best of buddies. To be precise, he
metaphorically compared us to chemicals of different composition. Chemicals
which can never be mixed up. And so comes Richelle Ugalde. She became my baby sister. She was very supportive and until now, she remains to be one of my
four confidants. We even became dorm mates. But thenshe left the dormitory
and so I then found my college best friend—Lei Martheen Dela Cruz. We had the best of times together. What amazes me the most was when she took me
to the hospital when I got badly sick. She has been a loyal and trusted
friend. She LITERALLY knows everything about me. I am so blessed to have
her. Lei and I also became part of the coolest barkada on Earth—–TUKS.
(Cleve Arguelles, Ashley Astibe, Christina Fabito, Jeryl Maniulit, Mariel Quiogue,
Des Santos). We definitely rocked the streets with our noises and with
the ever-unexplained phenomenon we create. At present, Lei happened to transfer to UPD to take up
ACCOUNTANCY. (1.00 grade niya sa Math 11). I did not opt to transfer
because I wanted to go home to Sulu immediately. And so my best friend
is now away. But, life for sure continues. I made A LOT OF ADJUSTMENTS
this school year as a sophomore student. But, I am very grateful because I happened to gain new friends—great ones.
Joshua Bersamina and Mark Panganiban are my closest pals today.
We sing together a lot, we play the guitar, and we share tons of stories–
be it rational or not. We enjoy each other’s presence.
I gues I will be forever thankful to have met these guys. On August, we will be part of a 2-day event in Rizal. We can’t wait to be together again.
I also became close to Robert Go, Dien Castillon, THE MAROONS, POLIS, AMS, and CYA. Hopefully, BATINGAW din.

=)